Studying for graduate tests always brings forth two feelings for me: complete disregard for higher education and a love of competition.

My studying has been prolific, intermittently. I admit that I am inadequately prepared for the test in June, and yet, I am not so concerned. There is something artificial (ersatz?) in the tests, something that does not allow for the complete notation of  experiences gained through proletariat work. And I have come to value what forty hours a week means, and how to adapt to a lifetime of it, if necessary. Do they make a box I can check on the test for this sort of study practice?

My love of competition, to put it mildly, has waned. Due to many factors, I have come to the realization that the essence of life for me is not simply the pursuit of scholarly work. This does not mean that I do not want to do well- oh, that will be accomplished even if it takes two or three rounds of test-taking.   I guess what I mean is that I am content with whatever number I receive. My efforts were not any less, even if the score does not reflect this. And this is something that I could not have said just a couple of years ago. It’s nice to grow up.